Depending entirely on Tara Brach these days.  Tara is a fairly famous insight meditation teacher and psychologist who works out of the Insight Meditation Centre in Washington, D.C.. I just recently found her, and she shot to the top of my list.

Reason is I woke up the last three mornings with the sword of depression lodged deep into my chest. I could feel the edges and heft of its path, the ache it left behind.  Depression, accompanied by deep fear, existential fear and as butter cream icing, itching, screaming, trapped in a box  boredom.  It’s genetic in part. The only terrible thing I inherited from my occasionally schizophrenic mother is an outsized emotional affect. Which has driven me ahead of the storm my whole life. And has now become accumulated pain. Pain to power of 10.  Luckily, I don’t have reality breaks, though I have observed many of them. They never fail to freak me right out. I run. I run.