I must have been a dozen people in my life – I even have a despairing name for myself, Miriam Myriad. I can adapt to pretty much any group of people until I’m bored, which sounds as an imperative similar to the Voice of God, whereupon I slip the harness and splash off in search of the next collection of interests. I do not believe this to be strictly ethical, though I will myself to not hurt anyone. It is a privilege not granted to many women without a lot of money, which I do not have, so I am profoundly grateful to a world where I can be so indulgent.
What tethers me to the earth and remains a constant is my body, temperamental, hyper-sensitive, tending towards exhaustion. I have a hyper-vigilant immune system, which I am always moderating with some kind of nutritional supplement or crazy-ass health program. To a pretty good result. I still have the ailments of a kid, still look young, no wrinkles, lines or folds. I can climb a mountain and swim the circumference of a small lake. This after years of exhaustion from working in the cities, clogged with dirt, dust, chemicals, and people. London, Paris, New York, Toronto, wherein I spent my time when not fighting for survival, figuring out how to get the hell out of Dodge.
Twenty years ago, I moved to the country in part because my body could not handle life in the cities. I live in a meadow, crossed by creeks, in front of a forest which hasn’t been touched for about 40 years. My water is from a well 200 feet deep and artesian. It is so alkaline, I could sell it. It has all the right minerals in all the right proportions. There is no cell coverage in my meadow and forest, my smart meter is 100 yards from the house. The house is rammed earth, materials with minimum off-gassing were used in construction, no dry-wall or paints. Wood stains were enviro-certified. It is a healthy house, as these things go, with geothermal heat and green roofs. With all this accommodation of my sensitivities, I was able to work hard, became reasonably successful, met a charming man who lives with me now, and thought it was over, I’d done it. I had turned myself into a normal healthy woman.
Then I relapsed. Continue reading “In which I change my life. Again.”